I've never told a lie, and that makes me a liar
by Osheylala
Summary: All Time Low FanFic- Please note that all occurrences are entirely fictional, we are merely fans. The main character who has a lucky encounter with All Time Low and lies to go on tour with them where she and Zack fall for each other. But there is no relationship without bumps... Rated M for certain scenes. Collaboration from Oshey and Jessica. Cheers :)
1. Chapter 1

**I woke up with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Another fucking lame day to blur with the rest of the boring summer in a busy and exciting town of Austin, Tx. Not. Nothing ever happens here. And if something does happen to swing through here, which actually happens quite often, I'm always too young to enjoy it. Being 17 years old in a town made for grown ups with a nightlife is not the most fun. Granted, it has it's perks... **

The sick feeling make its way up to my throat where it turned into bile and I found myself throwing off my covers and making a desperate attempt for the bathroom before I spewed. I could already tell today way going to be just fabulous.

After emptying myself for several minutes over the toilet, I slowly stood up, flushed and washed myself off. I started down the hallway towards the kitchen, but after my previous episode, it probably wouldn't have been the greatest idea. So I headed for the front door to get some fresh air.

Several hours later, I was fine. Normal even, if that's possible. So I headed for town. My favorite place on the universe was the center of the city. I felt I could accomplish anything when I was there. I felt like I was on top of the world, as cheesy as that sounds. After cruising down Guadalupe and Red River, I headed for 6th street. Aka, party central. I was sweating profusely and the only place I could think of that I possibly could get into was Emo's, the little bar and venue. I've had some of the greatest nights of my life at that place. I'd there's one place I could spend the rest of my life at, this would be the place.

I walked around back to see if Ralph, the security guard, was working, so he could let me in without a cover charge, since I was pretty much broke as fuck.

As I rounder the corner behind the stairs up to the owners apartment, I heard a gruff voice call out my name. I swiftly turned around and sharpened my eyes to see who it was.

"Ralph!" I cried out once I saw him, and I ran to hug him. Ralph was a big burly man with a grey and reddened beard and no hair on top of his head. He was a smelly old biker dude, but he treated me like family, and I was glad to know him.

"What're ya doin kiddo!?" he asked after he finally let me out of his grasp.

"Oh you know, drugs, boys, drama, parties..." I replied with a smile, knowing he'd get my sarcasm.

"Ooh no danger, sounds too boring for me." he said with a wink.

I laughed, "Oh no, you're way too hardcore for me man, no lies there."

His reply was a chuckle and he started for the back door, leaving me behind him. "Well are ya comin?" he stopped and turned around to wait for me. I followed him in and headed straight for the bathrooms. As I washed my hands and face off, I noted the sharpie marks my friends and I had left in the bright red stalls from years of concerts and remembered all the good times. I walked toward the back bar and the indoor stage to where Ralph was, standing behind the bar. I sat on a barstool and ordered a ginger ale.

"So, anyone decent playing tonight?" I asked Ralph as I sipped my drink.

"Oh I don't know anything anymore. Good, bad, they all sound the same to me." he said.

"Ha ha. That was not an answer to my question though!"

"Some band names All Time Low is playing with some other weird band about 'the crowd' or something. I don't know girl! You're supposed to look this stuff up!"

"I just wanted to hear it from an inside source!" I replied quickly, because I was secretly screaming my brains out inside. All Time Low has been one of my favorite bands for years, yet they were one of the few bands that I hadn't seen live yet.

"What bands did you say again?" I asked. I was almost sure it was We Are The In Crowd, whom I had fallen in love with after my first time seeing them open for The Ready Set during my freshman year, and I had become a super fan for them afterwards, but had yet to see them since.

"I don't know, something about a crowd!" he replied as he stepped out back for a smoke break.

I was sitting there in shock. Two of my favorite bands in the same night, only hours away, and I was already there. For free.


	2. Chapter 2

**I had completely forgotten how this morning had gone, with my puking episode and all, and now all I could think about, alone at a bar that was like my second home, was what I was going to be doing in a few hours.**

Now most people get excited about concerts because they like the bands and they get to meet everyone and then they get bragging rights and yaddayadda. But what I like about shows is the feeling of being alive. The whole crowd is there to see that band; they're there to enjoy the music that has saved them; to fraternize with the people who share similar stories; to feel like they belong. Thats why i go to shows. Thats why i love Emo's Austin. Its the one place that i know I'll always belong.

When Ralph came back into the room and coughed loudly from the cigarette smoke, I jumped off my barstool in a daze.

"Holy shit." I said as I dashed around the corner, just in time to see two black tour busses pull up with trailers attached.

"Holy shit." I repeated.

I stood there in shock. It was like something out of a fanfiction story. Here I was, with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I was frozen solid.

A heard woots and shouts coming from the inside of the first black bus, and from the second, I could have sworn I heard someone say "Yes! Bathrooms!" and as the doors opened, and eight or so people filed out and into the venue, my heart began racing.

I'm not normally a shy type; in fact, I'm not shy at all. So when I finally snapped out of my daze, I recovered quickly and walked up to the shorter girl in the front with a nose ring.

"Hi! How's it goin guys!?" I addressed the crowd with a smile.

"Yeah ok this is great. Where's the bathroom, I have to go. Now." replied the skinny boy with black hair and a shirt that read "Boner." No doubt that was Jack.

After I fraternized for a bit, I showed the two bands where the restrooms were and the crew started getting all of their stuff set up on the outdoor stage, I sat down with the nose-ringed girl, Tay, lead vocals for We Are The In Crowd, and also one of my very few girl-crushes. I loved this girl, even though I didn't know her; she was my inspiration.

"Holy cheese, Texas is hot as crap, man." she started.

"Oh god, I know. It'll be cooler when you start playing, since the sun will almost be down, but I can guarantee y'all will sweat like animals up there tonight."

She scoffed, "Yeah, no lies."

After explaining my love for the band and their music and having a short discussion before sound check, she asked me "Hey, so you are staying for the show right?"

With a smile on my face I replied "Wouldn't miss it for the world!" and then I laughed and added, "Plus, what else do I have to do?" and with that, she walked up on stage and WATIC began their sound check.

With one band up on stage, that meant the other would be waiting behind the scenes... Or in this case, in front of the scenes. All Time Low was sitting at the bar, almost half asleep, obviously because they hadn't gotten any the night before. I walked up to Zack, the bassist and my long-time celebrity crush, and he slowly turned to face me with that sexy grin he always wore.

"Hey!" he greeted me with a hug, as if we were long time friends, although we had only met an hour before.

"Hi!" I replied, blushing.

"So, are you excited for our show tonight!?" he said, just a little too enthusiastically.

I hadn't stopped smiling, and now my smile only got bigger. "Of course!"

"Good, it's always nice to know know someone in the audience and have someone to look forward to talking with afterwards." Zack said as he stood up and stretched.

The sound check was loud and I could barely heard what he was saying as he continued to talk.

"Zack, I'm so sorry, but I can't understand anything you're saying dude!" I yelled over the noise.

He looked discouraged and it made me wonder what he had been saying to me, but when the sound stopped, he spoke softly and shyly and asked me if I wanted to go walk around town with him until they were called back. My stomach did flip-flops, and my heart raced. This was not happening. It was a dream come true. Me and Zackary Steven Merrick, alone in the city. I think I must have hit my head when I fainted at the sheer sight of him. I must have been looked terrified and shocked, because he worriedly asked me if I was okay and if I needed to lay down, and told me that I didn't have to go with him, it was just a suggestion. I shook my head quickly, "No! Let's go." I said. And I smiled and walked towards the entryway. He looked reassured as he followed me out and down the street into the Texas heatstroke haze. I am one lucky little girl.

We has only gotten to the corner before we stopped to grab a taxi.

"Jesus Christ it's hot outside." he said. "How do you live with this ridiculousness?"

"We don't." I laughed.

The taxi took us to the greatest, most eclectic and exciting streets of the city: South Congress.

From the shops to the restaurants and food trailers, it was all just magical. We went in all the vintage shops and we ate at one of my favorite places, called Guerro's. It was, overall, a really great hour and a half.


	3. Chapter 3

**Around 7:45 Zack got a call from Alex.**

"Dude, where the fuck are you!?" I could hear Alex yell into the speaker.

"Shit man, I can't get an hour to myself!?" Zack replied. I could tell he was irritated, so I mouthed for him to hold on, and I went outside and called the nearest taxi, then ran to get him. He was still arguing with Alex when I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the curb. However, I, being the klutz I am, tripped and I definitely would have fallen face first onto the concrete had it not been for Zack. He quickly caught me, still holding my hand firmly, and pulled me close to him. I could feel his muscles rippling under me. I was breathless, awestruck, and hopelessly in love with this man whom I has only known for a short while. He might be 6 years older than me, but there was just something about him, and there was definitely something between us.

He stared intently into my eyes for a long moment and I stared deeply into his. We were both completely caught on the moment. After what seemed like a lifetime, I managed to choke out a breathless "Thank you."

"Oh, Um, no problem.." he said, as he awkwardly let me go and them grabbed the handle to let me into the taxi cab that was waiting for us.

On arrival we were pounded by screaming fangirls. He gave me the run-down before we exited the cab. "Just stick close to me, keep your head down and don't talk to them. I don't quite remember how crazy Texas girls get but sometimes, it's not pretty."

I shook my head in understanding.

"Ready?" he asked.

"As I'll ever be." I replied faultily.

We exited the car and he glanced at me, smiling. I smiled back and he grabbed my hand. My heart lurched. We jogged across the street to the back entrance of Emo's, trying to keep a low profile, Zack politely declining autograph requests and holding my hand tightly. We finally were ushered into the venue by Steve, one of the other guards.

"Thanks." I looked up at his handsome face that was twisting in agony as Alex, Jack and Rian approached. He let go of my hand and whispered so only I could hear him "I'll see you later... You don't need to hear this." and he walked to meet the boys.

I scurried of to the merchant tent and kept out of earshot until 8:15 when the doors opened. I was first to the stage, just hanging out, front and center. There were several local bands that I didn't know the names of that opened for We Are The In Crowd. When Tay and Jordan walked on stage I started going into fan girl mode. I screamed and cheered and screamed some more. When Tay called my name I froze. She was calling me on the stage. What the fuck!?

"Come on up dude!" Jordan grabbed my hand and pulled me up on the stage I looked put at what I thought had to be the biggest crowd Emo's had ever seen.

"Austin Texas, I introduce you to my new friend here. She was so kind to us when we dropped on this afternoon that we have decided to dedicate her favorite song to her tonight. Let's go Carry me home baby!"

My adrenalin was pumping and I knew the words. I sang "Carry me home tonight! Carry me home tonight! I'm doing all I can hoping that you'll stay wrapped up in innocence and trust in all my plans..."

I sang my heart out and I rocked out with Tay and Jordan and From backstage, I saw Rian and Zack watching me, mouths open in shock. It's not often you find a girl who's confident in her voice, and quite frankly, I might have been too confident. If there were such a thing.

I sang the entire song and at the end I jumped into the crowd and was lost from sight until their set ended and the pit cleared for just the right amount of time for me to scoot right back up to the front for All Time Low's set.

I saw Zack on the side. He smirked at me and motioned for me to come. I silently glided thought the dispersed mass of people until I found Ralph and he let me back. I found Zack and ran to hug him. He scooped me up in one arm, bass guitar in the other.

"Good luck!" I said to the whole of the band he winked in reply and they ran on stage and began their set.

I called my best friend Jess to listen in. She was in love with Alex, although I suspected he and Tay had a thing, not that i'd know; I wasn't around them long enough to make any sure decision about that. after the set was finished I called my mom to let her know I wouldn't be home, but that I'd be staying at Jess's house, which was a total lie, but after today, I couldn't go back to my depressing house. As they say "Stay awake: dreams only last for a night."

I snuck out back towards the busses, knowing that's where Zack would be going. Sure enough, the boys walked outside and quickly climbed in the bus. Zack grabbed my hand, without a word or warning, and yanked me up into the black machine. The whole band was soaked with sweat and they all had their shirts off, which was quite a joyous experience for me. Nobody said a word until I took a seat on the nearby couch and smiled up at Rian, who smiled back with his stunningly perfect pearly white teeth, and said "Y'all were phenomenal tonight."

Then the chaos started. Simultaneous "Fuck yeah"'s and lots of jumping around made me laugh. They were going crazy, and obviously they thought they had done a good job.

The cheers didn't stop when Zack came and sat next to me. He smiled at me and then threw a shirt on over his head.

"Zack, bro, we've got an obligation yo." Jack said as he followed the others out of the bus and out to the awaiting fans to go sign shirts and bras and other such things.

"You can come with or you can wait here." he said apologetically.

"I'll wait here I think..." I shuddered at the thought of more people.

"Kay I'll be back soon." he cheerfully skipped out the door to the bus and into the humid night air.

I sat on the bus for a very long time, and apparently I had fallen asleep, because when I woke up, Zack's muscular arms were cradling me and I was being taken to a bunk.

"Hey sleepyhead, do you have a curfew?" he said sweetly as he stroked my hair back behind my ear.

I was so tired that I didn't have the strength to say no, so I just shook my head and moaned.

"Haha okay get some sleep."

"Dude she's so fucking tired, Zack, that's so adorab-"

was the last thing i heard before I dozed back off into a deep sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**I woke up to the smell of sweat and toe cheese. Although I knew what the smells were, almost immediately, having lived my whole life with a younger brother, I still asked aloud "Jesus Christ, what is that smell?" **

"Awwhh, dude! You're aliiiiveee!" Jack said as he zoned in on my bunk and sat at the end of it. "So how're ya feelin'?" he asked with a childish intonation.

"Um, fine, thanks..?" was my response. It was possible I was still dreaming, so I was very cautious about everything I was saying.

"I am where, again?" I asked, just to be sure I was still in the bus where I vaguely remembered being carried by a set of strong arms, that I was actually missing at the moment.

"The bus, you dipwad. Your boo" she started, stressing the last syllable, "Will be here momentarily. Feel free to move about the cabin." Jack said with a wink. "Oh, and the hotties clothes are over there," he turned and pointed to a bottom bunk, down the aisle, "Feel free to change darling."

I was dazed and confused, yet, the situation felt strangely normal to me. I was still deciding if that was a good or bad thing. I walked over to the bag Jack had pointed at and picked an Amerrickan shirt from the pile that smelled decent. While walking around the dirty, smelly, and surprisingly empty bus, faced towards the back, examining a small pile of bras the boys had obviously collected the night before, blue lacy one, a sheer black one and a hot pink push-up were among the several dozen placed on the table to the left of my bunk. When I turned around to see what else the bus had in store, I was surprised by a set of huge tattooed arms that wrapped themselves around my torso.

"Zack." I thought with a smile, and I pressed myself into the hug, biting my head in his chest. I took in his scent. There wasn't a distinct smell or memory associated with it, but he smelled nice, like a breath of fresh air.

He released and said to me, "I brought breakfast." a huge grin was on his face as he held up two Whole Foods cups and a small brown paper bag.

"Fuck yes!" I was starving; I hadn't eaten since before the show the night before. I grabbed the bag and dug around. In the end, I got a blueberry coffee cake and he got a cranberry orange muffin.

As Zack and I munched our food and made quiet conversation I silently wondered where the rest of the band was. It seemed odd that it should just be the two of us on a tour bus. Especially the all Time Low bus.

Time or location didn't really occur to me until I asked Zack, "Where are the boys?" I expected him to say that they were out getting breakfast, or doing another sound check. His reply was not what I expected.

"They're in Arizona. They took The In Crowd's bus early this morning and left this one to me and you, since we still have a few days until the next tour stop."

"Oh..." I trailed off. I wasn't sure how to feel about this situation. I liked Zack. A lot. But I'm only 17, this was nuts. Granted, I was already graduated and I technically could do whatever I wanted to do, it just seemed really fast.

"Are you okay?" I had obviously spaced out for long enough for Zack to come sit and look at me with a worried expression on his face.

"Yeah I'm fine!" I quickly lied, flashing a big smile his direction.

I called my mom once we had finished breakfast and explained to her that I got caught up at Jess's house and that she and I had met a few friends for breakfast and then out of nowhere we had decided on a summer road trip, so I would be coming by to grab some stuff. She didn't sound at all surprised and said she'd be home from the market soon. It was a big lie, but it wasn't a huge deal. I may not be 18 but I have the authority in my life, and there was no way she was going to stop my dream-come-true.

"So we're just going to drive this to my house?" I asked skeptically as Zack turned the ignition to the monstrous vehicle we currently sat in.

Zack replied "It's not very conspicuous but it's the best we've got right now, unless you'd prefer a cab."

I was serious contemplating jumping out of the bus at that very moment. I didn't really have a goo excuse as to why I was arriving in a giant tour bus, but I guessed I'd have to manage because we rolled out of the parking lot in the black beast, and onward, as I gave Zack directions to my quaint little house in the suburbs of Austin, TX.


	5. Chapter 5

**The white picket fences that ran along the sidewalks, separating the cookie-cutter houses from one another all blurred together as we drove down the main road and into the neighborhood behind the perfect houses. That was no somewhere my mother would allow is to live, even for a second.**

"Zack stop!" I practically screamed as we approached my house, and then continued to roll past it, almost hitting the 9 and 10 year old kids that were playing outside.

The he screeched to a halt and I braced myself for the biggest lie of my lifetime. I knew she would find out what I was doing eventually, and she had basically no control over it, but i knew my mother, and I knew she would try to convince me to stay.

My father was a musician and he was always on the road. Although my parents were still together and he has a job and is a big part of my siblings lives right now, I hardly knew the man. It took him 11 years after I was born to sober up and help this family, but by then it was too late. He worked too long for several years after cleaning up for him to ever be home and I was 14 before he really began sticking around. I was already practically grown up, and he wasn't there to watch it. My mother feels like the music scene will do the same thing to me.

I walked up to the porch and yanked open the bright red door.

"Hello!?" I yelled into the emptiness.

"Okay, we'll no one's home so come on in." I motioned for Zack to come inside, entering the house entirely. I walked to he back of the house and opened the door to my make-shift bedroom that my dad and his friends had built me when I was in the 7th grade. The orange and brown color scheme lost its flair after the few months, but I kept it because it reminded me of happier times.

Zack followed quietly behind me, obviously amused at the oddities around the house, and once we entered my bedroom, I grabbed my suitcase from the top of my bookcase and ripped through my drawers and my closet, taking all of my shorts, tanks, bras, underwear and socks, throwing in a sweater and then grabbed a pair of sandals and my vans, knowing that this all would suffice, plus the t-shirt, shorts and faded Toms I as wearing at the moment. I rushed to my bathroom and grabbed my straightener and my toothbrush and makeup bag. I was ready.

I was anxious to leave before my mom got home so I didn't have to make excuses, so I called her to double check that she was far enough away that she wouldn't see the giant black monster-bus leave the neighborhood, with it's narrow streets and dizzying round-a-bouts, it's a wonder we got through it the first time.

When I verified that she was at least 20 minutes away, I looked at Zack, who had patiently been playing on his iPhone, and he glanced up at me. His big puppy-dog eyes peered at me over the top of his phone, making him look vulnerable and incredibly adorable. I set my things down and walked up to him from across the room and he slowly put his phone down on the bedside table. He looked at me with such intensity that it made me weak in the knees. I stopped right in front of him, placed my small hands on his chest and looked up at him. I knew what was going to happen, and I had no doubts that it was the right thing to do. He leaned his head down, i closed my eyes and he put his arms around my waist enveloping me in the most beautiful kiss I had ever experienced. My arms reached up around his neck and I stood in tiptoe as his arms wrapped tightly around my midsection, almost lifting me off the ground. After what seemed like minutes we parted, breathless.

"So...we should put my things on the bus before my mom gets home." I suggested.

"Oh, yeah, the bus. Haha."

It only took a few moments to grab my things and start the bus. We drove out of the neighborhood in silence with only the roaring sound of the bus filling the air.

I called my mom and told her goodbye and it to worry about me, I'd be home before I had to leave for college. She said that my dad and my siblings loved me very much and to keep them updated. I told her I would, and with that we said our goodbyes and Zack and I pressed onwards for Arizona.


	6. Chapter 6

**It was getting darker and Zack thought it'd be a good idea that we stopped in a hotel so we could both get some rest, and then continue our journey in the morning, so at the first sign of life in the next odd West Texas town, we stopped at an RV resort.**

After a few brief minutes of brief paperwork, we pulled into the stall and stopped the grumbling engine.

"Well, looks like its dinner time." Zack turned to face me, a smile played in my direction. I couldn't help but agree.

After a bowl or two of microwaved mac-n-cheese, we decided to call it a night, and I changed into a comfy pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Zack grabbed a towel from the cabinet in front of my bunk, and said he was going to shower. I plugged in my iPod and blasted some Man Overboard out of my headphones while I skimmed through a random AP Magazine I found stuffed in one of the sides of my bunk. I listened through a few songs, several of which had been All Time Low, and I laid down and closed my eyes, still singing the lyrics to Noel. I had the sudden realization that i had to pee. Really bad. I took out my headphones and walked over to the other side of the bus towards the restroom. I didn't hear the shower going anymore, so Zack must have gotten out while I still had my headphones in. I opened the door to the bathroom and then stopped dead in my tracks. Zack was out of the shower alright. Fresh out actually, because there he stood in front of me, completely clad and soaking wet.

"Oh my god." I stood wide eyed, my hand still on the handle. "I'm so sorry." I said, and then turned and ran out of the bus and into the brisk night air.

Zack's POV

I was drying off ion the restroom after my shower when I heard the door open. I was completely naked, and the only other one in the bus was... Oh no.

"Oh my god." She stood wide eyed, hand still on the handle. "I'm so sorry." She said, and then she turned and ran out of the bus and into the darkness. I was completely frozen. The girl I liked, and was spending a night with, alone, had just seen me completely naked. What the fuck!? I wasn't sure what was going on, but I knew it was an accident, and that she felt really bad. It took several moments, but when i finally came to my senses i bolted out of the bathroom, threw on some boxer briefs and a pair of shorts and dashed down the stairs and out the door of the tour bus. I couldn't let her go, especially not because of a small misunderstanding. I liked her too much, and I felt like we had a real connection. After the kiss in her room today, I was left breathless. Never in the history of my existence has a girl ever made me feel that way. I mean, from the moment I set eyes on her, I knew she had to be mine.

It was chilly outside, but the Texas heat still broke through and as I ran around the RV park, I was sweating. Maybe it was just me panicking, or maybe it was the heat, there was no way to tell, and frankly I didn't care. The only thing I was worried about was making sure that she was safe with me. I didn't give a fuck if she accidentally saw me naked, that probably would have come with time anyways, I just had to have her with me.

I continued searching until I finally rounded a corner by the general store that was kept on the campgrounds, and I saw a petite figure sitting down against a big oak, facing the river.

Relieved, I walked calmly over and sat down beside her, taking her hand in mine.

"I'm sorry." she whispered. And I pressed her closer to me. Her head rested on my shoulder and she began to sob.

"Hey, hey now, no need for tears. It was an accident, it's okay really. Everything's alright. Shhhhh.." I stroked her hair and sat to face her.

Main POV

"I'm sorry." I whispered into Zack's chest. He held me close and reassured me that everything was okay. I felt so dumb. Why wouldn't I have knocked first? What was wrong with me? Why did I run off like that? I questioned myself over and over again, but the questions faded as I realized that Zack didn't mind. I felt like an idiotic child, but Zack was stroking my hair and wiping my tears. He turned himself to face me and lifted my chin so our eyes met.

The instant i looked into his brown eyes, I knew everything was okay. I stopped crying and we just looked at each other for a long time. He smiled at me, and then leaned in, and kissed me. It was a soft and innocent kiss, not like our first one. It was gentle and kind, but it still made me weak. My whole body surged and my stomach did flip-flops. I was sucked into the moment. He let go and we both lingered for the smallest moment. I looked up at him from my sitting position, and said "Let's get back to the bus."

He smiled and stood up, then held out his hand to help me up. When I stood up though, we didn't let go of each others hands, and we walked back to the black monster like that; blissful and ignorant to the events of tonight, before the kiss. When we got inside, he closed and locked the door and then swung around and grabbed me by the waist.

"I don't know what it is about you, but you're addictive." he looked down at me, his face sincere, but smiling. "You're like a drug. A crazy, beautiful, wonderful drug. And even though I hardly know you, I don't think I'd know what to do without you.."

I didn't have words. I was speechless and utterly surprised. I did the only thing I could think of, and I leaned up and kissed him. He deepened the kiss and before long, his tongue was asking for and entrance in. I granted him entrance and our mouths danced along to their own tune. His hands ran up and down my sides and along my back, as my hands burrowed in his thick, dark hair.

I wasn't scared or nervous of being with him like this. I had done these things before, and it wasn't at all new, but the feeling was. No boy had ever made me feel disconnected from the ground or from this world before. His kiss sunk me into the floor, and his touch lifted me up. It was madness and it was beautiful. I didn't care what happened tonight, because I knew it felt completely right.

Soon enough, we were on the other side of the bus on the biggest bunk there was, lights off, and not a sound other than our beating hearts and rushing blood.

His hands had made it all the way up my shirt, taking it off entirely. There was now a ferocity and passion to him, and we stumbled around the back of the bus, laughing here and there, and falling on to the bed. I wasn't sure when either of our pants had come off, but we were just down to basics as we slowly drifted into a rhythm and forgot the rest of the world.


	7. Chapter 7

**I woke** up stark naked and on top of a beautiful man, who was also completely unclothed. As I recalled the night before I smiled and nestled myself into the warmth of his broad chest and snuggled deeply into the white sheets. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I felt so peaceful and warm. I never wanted the moment to end.

Just then, my stomach growled at me.

"Shit." I whispered, thinking I was the only one able to hear myself.

"Looks like we've got a girl with an appetite." i heard in my ear.

I looked up at Zack, his big brown eyes were soft and crinkled as he smiled at me, and his curly dark hair was a mess atop his head, as I'm sure mine was as well. His gaze was alluring and I was quickly drawn into a kiss that was warm and soft and left me wanting more.

We both decided to get up and get dressed, and after a few minutes of the most delicious good morning kisses anyone could receive, we walked around the cab of the bus until we could gather all of the clothing that as strewn about in every direction. We walked together to the front end and grabbed the most substantial meal we could find in the empty cabinets, which, again, was mac-n-cheese.

The next show was in two days, and it would only take about 10 hours to get to Tempe, so time was not a huge issue to us, so we talked... And we talked for hours.

We talked about his house and the town where he grew up, and about his family and the things that he never told anyone else, like the time when he tripped his grandma on accident, but had everyone else, including his grandmother, believe it was the dog that tripped her, and to this day, nobody knew the real story.

I told him about myself; my favourite colour, how many cats I've owned, why I prefer dried fruits over the real thing. I told him about losing my virginity, and he told me about the crazy parties that happened on their last tour. I found him intriguing and vibrant. He wasn't shy around me, like he was around most people. I found that he had more to say than anyone I've ever met in my life, and he was brilliant.

It was nearing 2:30 when we decided to hit the road. We wanted a straight shot to Tempe and it would be an all night drive. We had rested all day, so we would definitely be prepared for the trip ahead.

"You ready? Got everything you want? Need? No stops, no boredom?" he asked me.

"I'm all ready, Freddy!" I laughed in response.

We sat in the front cab; he was taking first driving shift, and I sat, in the passenger seat, ready with a crossword puzzle and a portable DVD player.

Earlier in the day, it was decided that we'd each take 5 hour shifts so that things would be fair.

Of course, I fell asleep for the first 7 hours and Zack, being the caring gentleman he was, didn't wake me up. And I probably would have gone the whole trip without so much as touching the wheel has it not been for the sudden thud and sound of screeching metal on the roadway from beneath our feet.

I jolted awake. "Zack what's going on?" I asked, still half-dazed.

"Shit!" Zack hit the brakes and pulled off to the side of the road. We were in the middle of nowhere and had been swerving between the two-way road.

"Zack, what the hell is going on!?" I repeated.

He stopped the car and undid his seatbelt and then swiftly exited the bus without answering my question. He was obviously irked, so I just let him figure out the issue on his own.

"We blew a fucking tire." he reentered the bus after a few minutes, fuming.

"Oh, shit." I replied, not sure what to say or do.

"It's gonna take a while for a mechanic to get out here; I can't change it on my own, and the jack we have isn't the right kind." he replied. "We might be able to push it a few miles up to the nearest gas station, but that's gonna take a lot of work, and it's almost 110 degrees out there."

"No, you're gonna over-exert yourself, and I won't be of much help, seeing as though I don't have much power to offer." I quickly replied. "I think it'd be best just to wait for a mechanic; we don't want to mess it up any more." I read the worried and exasperated look on Zack's face and then added, "Don't worry babe, it's all gonna be fine." I then quickly glanced down. I had accidentally called him babe. I hadn't known this man more than 48 hours and I was already going on a cross-country tour with him, and we had already had sex. On a tour bus. And now I was calling him babe. Who knew what would come next!?

He glanced at me," I guess you're right." he said, and then smiled and leaned down and attempted to kiss my cheek, but before he could reach all the way down, I stood up and we collided heads. Which hurt like hell.

"Ah's", "oh's", and "ow's.." filled the next few moments.

"Jesus Christ I am so sorry.. Are you okay?" I held my hand on my head and looked at him for a reply.

"Me? Yeah I'm fine, are you okay?" he said, concerned, as he came closer and stroked my hair, bringing me into a hug.

He really was the sweetest guy...


	8. Chapter 8

**When you're stuck in the middle of nowhere with an attractive man in a small, confined space, with no interruptions, things can get heated pretty quickly. I learned this the hard way. **

Hard. Punny, right? Nah..

As time continued to move forward, and Zack and I busied ourselves with random handiwork around the bus, although we both knew that something was bound to happen eventually.

And it did..

When the cabinets were well reorganised and the bathrooms were clean and the beds were made and the trash was picked up, we found that there was not much else that could be done other than wait for a mechanic.

Zack had notified the rest of the crew in Arizona of what had happened and, although Alex was a tad bit irked, they were okay with it, as long as we made it to the show on time.

After retuning from what seemed like the longest phone call ever, Zack stepped into the bus and headed straight to his bunk where he then changed, completely, as if nobody else were here.

His teal v-neck and baggy black sweats, although extremely casual, were making me melt in my chair. I think it was his ability to be comfortable around me that was so appealing, but whatever the case, the man was sexy. I was sitting in the front kitchen area, but with the plentiful windows and the New Mexico sunlight pouring in, it was starting to get hot, so I made my way to the very back bunk, where Zack and I had 'gotten to know each other' the previous night. I was about 10 feet away from the edge of the bed when Zack grabbed my hips from behind and unexpectedly pulled me in to his tiny compartment in the side of the bus.

The curtain fell down, concealing us. "Hey there beautiful." he started, "It seems as though we've hardly said a word to each other today. " He said, pairing his lips, implying a slight bit of sarcasm, but altogether being very seductive.

Playing along, I faked a pout and replied "It seems as though you are right sir."

"It's a shame, isn't it?"

"Oh a real shame. It's not every day a handsome guy like you turns up in a girls life and then ignores her for a whole day!" I raised my voice at the last part, joking with him, of course.

Before I knew it, I was in a heap in the ground, Zacks powerful hands around my waist, and myself in tears. He continued to tickle me, "Darling' you think i would ignore you!? You- are- mistaken!" he said between laughs. When he released his grasp a bit, I spun around and pinned him to the ground, straddling his waits and inning his hands down so he'd stop tickling me.

"You don't want to do that." he warned, a devious smile on his face, looking up at me.

"Oh and why not?" I asked, with the same mischievous demeanour.

"Because then I get leverage to do this-" He wrapped his legs around my waist and lifted his torso upwards to meet with mine, placing a kiss on my lips. I slowly kissed back and leaned down lower as he kissed every inch of mu neck down to my collarbones. I let go of his hands, which I had pinned out to either side of his head, and ran my hands along his arms and his chest as I slowly kissed him back.

Before I knew it I was lowering myself to cover his half naked body, placing my elbows on the ground where his hands had been and entangling my fingers in his thick, curly brown-blonde hair. Our tongues danced and his hands pressed along my sides, moving up and down and along my thighs, grabbing my butt and, slowly, he tugged at my hemline, wanting the shirt gone. I obliged, and took his shirt off as well, gliding my hands along his rippling, muscular chest.

I slowly started moving my mouth away from his, and headed for the base of his neck, kissing along his strong jawline and down, biting the lobe if his ear and kissing the spaces below it until I finally reached the base of his beck, right above his collarbone.

He grunted when I slightly bit his soft spot, and I slowly started to suck, giving him a huge red hickey.

He made a sudden movement and I ended up underneath him, his hands caressing my waist and slowly moving upward until they came up underneath my bra. He worked fast, moving his hands to my back so he could unclip the bright yellow piece of lingerie, and moving right back to the front once it was removed. His mouth moved from mine and his lips gently grazed my cheek, and down my neck to my breasts.

Zack was a, s**hall we say, talented, young man.**

**I worked to get him out of his baggy sweats, but before any more clothing came off, we moved into the tiny bunk and closed the curtain.**

We were both positively drained by the time we finished, over an hour later. Twice now I've had sex with a man I've not known for more than a few days and who was not my boyfriend exclusively.

I felt like a positive slut, but I knew there was going to be a future for us. I could feel it when he looked at me. He didn't quite look at me as he looked into my eyes and saw what was within me. I had never had such intensity and truth and honesty come from just a glance. He made me feel infinite.

I would do anything to make these last few days last forever.


	9. Chapter 9

**A sudden knock at the door of our trailer interrupted my thoughts. **

It was the mechanic. He had finally fucking made it. About time too.. We had only a day or so to be in Arizona before the show. Between our 'encounters' Zack and I talked and had decided earlier in the trip that I would be their merch girl for the remainder of the tour. It was a measly task, Zack explained, but little did he know that it was, quite honestly, my dream job.

The mechanic made quick work of fixing our blown tire and soon enough we were back on the road to Arizona. The bus was steaming hot, and the air was dry and dirty when we pulled into the venue. Zack shut the bus off and unbuckled his seatbelt, but instead of getting up immediately, he kept his hands on the steering wheel and stared straight ahead. He took a deep breath and sighed heavily.

"You might want to just go find Tay once we get in. Alex and Jack are gonna have a shitload for me..." He glaces over at me and gave me a sheepish smile.

I leaned in and kissed him on the check, then got up and walked towards the door.

"I'll go in first so they don't give it to you on the spot." I said, and I bounced out of the trailer and walked up the blazing hot sidewalk into the white brick building.

There was nobody in the building from what I could tell at first, so I went towards the stage and jumped up on top of it. WATIC already had their equipment set up so there was either a sound check very soon, or we had missed it.

"Hello!?" I called into the blackness called backstage.

A sudden roar of voices and the sound of multiple footsteps flooded the stage area and I was attacked by about 6 people, of varying sizes, and I ended up on the ground.

"You're alive!" Tay yelled in my ear, her arms wrapped around my torso tightly.

"Good now I don't have to beat up Zack.." said Jack coming to give me a hug once Tay let go.

"Speaking of... Where is that little bastard, I need to talk to him." said Alex, jokingly, coming in for a hug as well. "I'm gla you're okay." he whispered in my ear, just soft enough for the two of us to hear. What the fuck was that? I thought to myself for a few moments about the awkward situation that had just occurred and realized that Alex had a thing for me. That's why he always get mad at Zack for being gone too long or for hanging out with me. Not because he was an overprotective leader, but because he didn't want Zack near me. Oh shit this was gonna be one hell of a tour...

I was cut off in mid-thought by the sound of banging doors.

"Zack!" the small crowd of friends turned their attention towards the man at the door and I was left on stage with only my thoughts and an aching for real food. After a few minutes of greetings and socializing, Alex, Jack, Rian and Zack stepped to the side and asked for some privacy. The team obliged and Jordan led Tay, Cameron, Rob and I to the back room for some refreshments. I hoped Zack wouldn't be chastised too badly. This was a really big problem, and I happened to be right in the middle of it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Mesa, Arizona was hot. Hotter than hot, even. It was dry and flat and parched; it had no visible wildlife or plant life on the highways, and the towns were almost as bad. If it weren't for shopping centers and large freeway intersections, Arizona would be a deserted desert.**

For that reason, we stayed indoors for the next several hours, enjoying chips and sandwiches and sodas whilst chatting amongst our friends. We couldn't have asked for anything better, it was absolutely terrific. But behind Alex and Zack's friendly façade I could tell they were at war. Which struck me as odd, to be quite honest. What would Alex want anything to do with me? I tried to come to a conclusion about the situation, of which neither of them knew I was aware, but before I could even put a seconds thought into it, Tay rambled in my ear about something that had to do with absolutely nothing. Typical Tay. She was my idol, and I will admit, I had a humongous girl crush on her, but there are some things that a person is simply not prepared for... Unfortunately, Tay's incessant talking was one of them.

I thoroughly enjoyed the set played that night. I wasn't brought on stage for any surprise acts this time, thank god, but I quietly enjoyed from the shadows. When Zack's bass caught a few bras there were lots of rioting laughs and screams. There were a lot of "I love you's" directed at Jack and Alex, to which their responses were quite rude and vulgar.

To be honest, the boys were total assholes on stage, just because they could be, but in reality they were some of the sweetest guys I had ever met. I hadn't known them for very long at all, but I believe that in your heart, when you meet someone you automatically can see into their hearts; see their true values. These boys had never shown any contemptuous feelings towards others or expressed dislike for anyone while i was never talked crap or spoke badly if anyone. They seemed to always look for the good in others and above all, you could tell that they admired and loved their fans. They were the kind of people that are the kind of people everyone wants to hang out with. If that makes sense...

Even if they weren't famous they would still have that sort of magnetism that would make them all very well liked among all.

Even adorably shy Zack. However, on stage, he became something different. Someone entirely different. He sang loudly and made faces and laughed and smiled and jumped around, full of energy, full of life. He had a certain spark about him that was different and exciting. He would often glance over and smile at me throughout their set. Seeing him like that made me like him even more, but in an incredibly different way. I felt like i was falling in love with his soul.

When they took their break in the middle of the show for Alex's acoustic song Remembering Sunday, the first thing Zack did was run and give me the biggest, sweatiest hug I had ever experienced. He smelled so bad, I almost puked when I breathed in, but luckily I have a very high tolerance for icky-ness.

"So." Zack let go of me and stood in front of me, hands on his hips, "Whatdya think?" he said with a wink, ending with a pathetic excuse of a Bieber hair flip.

I looked at him with utter bewilderment. "Did you just try to be cheesy?" I asked sarcastically.

His face lit up and he kissed me on the cheek, picked me up, and carried me back to the water station with him. Both of us smiling all the way.

After the show the boys went out to the merch table, which I was supposed to run starting next show. The way those girls flocked the table scared me. I felt like they would all come trampling over me and kill me, damaging the merchandise in the process... Death by stampede- my new worst fear.

I followed the boys out and into the large crowd of screaming fangirls. I used to be one of those girls, but I realized freshman year that it was just ridiculous to scream at them. They'd be more likely to talk to you if you just remained calm and cool. I'm gonna be cocky here and say that i was a wise freshman indeed...

I decided it was better that the public not know what was going on with me and Zack, so we didn't play or smile or kiss like we usually did. I didn't want to be the cause of any heartache; I knew what it was like to be a dedicated fangirl.

After an hour and a half of shirts and socks and bras and underwear and shoes and boobs being signed, All Time Low had decided they had done enough. Alex and Rian went back to the bus first, Zack had disappeared over 45 minutes ago and Jack had found a "cutlet" that he was talking up and wanted to take back to the hotel room that several of them had rented for the night. I grabbed the remaining bras and other items that had been thrown on stage and dropped them off with Rian at the bus.

"Hey Rian have you seen Zack? It's been a really long time since I've seen him." I asked.

"He started talking to a fan, and I haven't seen him since." Rian said.

"Okay thanks. And hey, get some rest will ya? You look exhausted man.." I said and rubbed his peach-fuzzy head.

Rian said goodnight and closed the bus door, deciding not to go to the hotel.

I turned around and headed back inside. It was time to go find Zack.

I checked in the dressing rooms and backstage. I checked by the merch and down the hallway to the bathrooms. Then, finally, I say a lock of blonde hair shimmer in the lights in one of one of the partially opened practice rooms and murmurs coming from inside. That wasn't Zack's hair, but hadn't he been with a fan before he disappeared? Even if it wasnt him, whoever it was shouldnt have been there anyways. I cautiously walked towards the door.

"...Hey don't worry about it. You're fine baby, you're gonna be just fine." Zack's voice echoed in the empty room.

A fake honey-sweet voice responded, "I'm so glad I met you. I was so...scared..." she trailed off leaving silence and the sound of rustling filled the empty space. I suddenly felt scared. Scared i might not see something i wanted to. Scared because it might not be Zack. Scared because i didn't know the consequences if I opened the door. Despite my fear, I opened the door. And I wished I never had, because I saw something I should not have seen. Zack and this blondie were kissing. I felt myself sink. My heart felt heavy and my eyes started stinging. Everything moved in slow motion now as Zack tore himself away from her and stood up, looking at me with wide, pleading eyes. I had no words. My mouth opened as if to let out a noise of discomfort or disbelief, but nothing came out. My words were caught in my throat.

"I-" he started to explain himself, but I didn't stay to hear what he had to say. I turned and ran. I ran past the bus and out of the parking lot. I ran along the deserted highway, tears falling from my eyes. Feeling hurt and betrayed and mad. Mad at myself for believing that a guy like Zack would be into a kid like me. Mad at him for proving the world right. Mad because he ended up being just like every guy i had ever liked. I just wanted to go home now, but I knew it would be foolish. It wouldn't do any good, so I determined to stay here. With the band and the crew. They were my home now, I had nothing to go back to. I just felt so wronged, I wasn't sure how I could face them again.

I stopped at the nearest gas station, huffing and puffing. I wasnt ever much of a runner... After a few minutes of trying to catch my breath, i walked inside and pulled a five from the pocket of my orange Bullhead's and bought a Reese's and a Dr. Pepper. Chocolate for the heartache, caffeine for the headache. Mom always said it did wonders.

I sat outside the gas station for 20 minutes before I was calm enough to take my cellphone of my pocket and call someone. Who I would call, I wasn't entirely sure, but I didn't even pass the A's in my contacts before I hit the call button, put the phone to my ear and heard the voice at the end of the line.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hey will you come get me please?" I sobbed into the microphone.

"I'll be right there, stay where you are." he said. The line clicked and I was left on my own in the abandoned parking lot of a gas station.

Sweaty, sobbing and sorry.


	11. Chapter 11

I waited in the dark for what seemed like forever. I don't know that I was entirely sure of what I was doing, but I was sure that I had just seen a man, whom I was infatuated, kissing a blonde tramp, and I was upset at the world, so I called the first person I could think of. I don't know why I has called them because in the long run, i had the feeling that it was probably going to end up as the worst decision I had ever made. After a few minutes I had come to the conclusion that life was dumb, and being a teenager sucked. Now all I could do was wait.

I sat on the curb with my Dr. Pepper and found myself wishing Jess had been here.

When I had moved into town it was a new experience. I was zoned for a different school than all my friends and I didn't know anyone on that side of town. I had been positively scared out of my mind. My first two weeks of school had been torture, but then I met Jess and all of that changed. She and I had become friends through music. All Time Low, Mayday Parade, You Me At Six, Chris Drew... They were the soundtrack to our friendship. When we graduated she went off to film school in California and I wasted away in Austin. I never had a plan. She was the one with the big ideas. For the last 3 years of my life, she had been there with me and she had been there for me. Now that I needed her most, I didn't have her, and that was killing me.

Soon enough I heard the sound of feet hitting gravel and a voice calling my name.

"Over here.." I called towards him. His slightly faded pink hair was barely visible in the darkness and i could barely see his face, but the purple GK shirt, dark sweater and skinny jeans let me know that Alex Gaskarth had finally come for me.

Now, I was entirely bonkers at the time and honestly, I was not sure why I had called Alex, of all people, but I had a feeling that seeing him would make me feel better. Surprisingly, it did.

The streams of tears that has run down my face only minutes before had smeared my makeup and from first glance it was pretty obvious that I had been crying. I looked like a wreck, and honestly, I didn't want anyone to see me this way, let alone Alex. However, despite my discomfort with the situation, the feeling that I needed to stay on that curbside, and the fact that I was so low and depressed that I didn't even want to move, I stood up and began walking towards Alex.

"What happened? What's wrong?" he asked, as he half-jogged towards me. He looked so upset and distressed. My face said it all, i guess. As soon as he approached me I was taken into a warm hug. I began to sob more and more.

"Hey, hey don't cry... No worries, it's okay. Hey it's okay, everything's alright now, you're okay." He stroked my hair and rubbed my back while he cooed in my ear. I wasn't sure what to do or say or feel anymore. I felt betrayed and sad and lost, but I also felt relieved and comforted by Alex'a warmth and his words. I wanted to just stay wrapped up in his arms forever, but something told me that it would be a bad idea. I didn't even know how he has found me...

I realized then, that even though I was doing something incredibly dumb, for the first time, in a very long time, I finally felt safe. Confused and upset, but safe.

We stayed in the gas station parking lot for a while, just standing there. I told him what had happened. He seemed shocked and really upset at the situation. After I told him what I had seen, it was evident that he wasn't going to let me see Zack at all tonight.

"He's such an ass." Was his response. We were walking back to the venue. He held my hand and lent me his sweater. Arizona was hot when the sun was out, but it got really chilly at night.

"I've never seen him act like this. Ever. I love that kid like he was my brother, but now I'm pretty fucking pissed. Nothing gives him the right to make someone like you feel like shit." He said.

"I just want to talk to him. Let him know what I saw and how much it hurt me. I don't think that it would do any harm...Except maybe to me, honestly." I thought the last part silently. I tried to reason with him, but the thing about Alex is that once he has his mind set on something, there's no changing it and there's no getting around him. I was too tired and hurt to go on arguing, so I let Alex take me back to WATIC's bus. No chance of seeing Zack.

"Hold on a minute." He said before leaving me outside the bus for a few moments. I think he was checking to make sure Zack wasn't inside. When he came back outside he grabbed my hand and led me inside. Tay and Jordan were eating some Ramen and writing some new music when we walked in. Alex talked to them for a few minutes and let me explain my situation to help them understand why I'd be sleeping here tonight instead of with Zack. As I told my story Tay's facial expressions changed. At first she was intently listening, then she looked concerned, and then her face changed to one of pure shock. She stood up immediately after I finished and hugged me.

"I saw him a few hours ago, he was pacing around, it looked like he was freaking out. When Rian tries to go comfort him, he blew up. I didn't realize..." She trailed off, looking at me with puppy-dog eyes.

"It's okay Tay. Thanks." I replied with a half-smile. It had been so long since I had felt this comforted and calm in such a shitty situation that I was actually okay with talking to someone. I didn't feel the need to restrain myself around these people. It was brand new and I liked it a lot.

Tay lent me some pajamas and underwear and found an extra toothbrush and a towel so I could get cleaned up and sleep comfortably. Alex, Jordan, Rob and Cameron all stayed in the front to play video games and eat all the food while Tay and I stayed in the back bunks. After I showered I sat on the bunk next to Tay and we started talking. We ended up talking for hours.

I told her about school and ex boyfriends and junior year.

Junior year was the hardest. I never felt like talking about it much, but I was so comfortable with Tay. I knew she wouldn't think I was crazy like everyone else had. She wouldn't try to put me in a mental institution or make me see a therapist like my parents had. She never tried to be a therapist like everyone else had. She just listened, which, in the end, isn't that all anyone ever needs?

Alex came back around 2am to say goodbye and go to his bus. He gave me a big hug and told me that he would always be here for me, no matter what. Then he kissed me on the forehead and turned down the hallway and out the door. I didn't find it surprising in the slightest. I actually found it very comforting. My heart just about burst with gratitude for all of the trouble he had gone through that night for me. He was such a good guy.

That was the night that decided I was pretty sure I liked Alex Gaskarth.


	12. Chapter 12

**My friend Jessica has decided to do some collaboration with me and my stories. hopefully it'll make it more interesting :) cheers! -oshey**

* * *

Two questions:  
1. Why the hell am I up at 1:30 in the morning, much less driving on a freeway to I'm not even sure at this unholy hour?  
2. What has Oshey gotten herself into this time?

Here comes Zombie-Jess to the rescue. After all, "a friend in need is a friend indeed". Or was it "a friend with weed"? Either way.

I left right after I got the unusually vague message from her number, though I'm pretty sure she wasn't the one texting for several reasons. For starters, every other word was spelled wrong - something she would never send, no matter what state of coherence she was in - and secondly, she would never spell "come" as "cum". That's just tacky.

Regardless, I was on my way, blasting through the California freeways heading while trying to keep my eyes open toward what I felt was going to be a big mess. But hey, I'm always down for an adventure, especially with that crazy girl involved. This is going to cost her a lot of Starbucks runs, though.

I slowly pulled up to the address the text told me to go to and was floored. Who in their right mind would tell someone to meet up at a McDonald's in the middle of Arizona because of a "prblm" (I think that meant "problem", but text slang isn't my thing. It could mean "please return butter little miss" for all I know). The worst thing I could think of was that they had Coke instead of Pepsi. Big problem there.

I parked and headed inside, though I do use the word "parked" loosely because most people would call my efforts a mess at best. But hey, most of my car was in. Sorry, irrelevant.

It's been four years since I've been in a McDonald's and I was disgusted not only by the unappetizing food, but for the fact that Oshey wasn't in there and worry, not stomach acid, was eating away at my stomach. I jogged out of the restaurant and scanned the parking lot, noticing two rather large black buses parked off on complete opposite sides of the large lot.

"Oh, you gotta be kidding me," I cursed under my breath while storming toward the middle of the parking lot to get a better view. She always talked about touring with a super hot band, but I couldn't believe she actually seemingly managed to make it happen - without inviting me! Come to think about it, she hadn't been texting much and never said what she was doing. I knew instantly that she was in one of those buses, but which one? And who the hell was she with?

I stealthily prowled over to the bus on the right, though my attempt at being covert probably was overly obnoxious and noticeable. Then I jogged over to the other bus, panting as I arrived I circled each bus and tried to peer in like an innocent bystander, but either the windows were too tall or too tinted. If only I was tall enough to be a model or have an x-ray vision super power. Unfortunately, I was born too ordinary.

I took a few steps back and thought of a strategy to lure Oshey out without getting arrested. I could text her, but I still wasn't sure she had her phone. If she was kidnapped, I didn't want her oppressor to know a rescue mission was on the way. There needed to be another way. I would have to make a choice.

After a few agonizing seconds, I couldn't think of anything, so I just shrugged and marched up to the van on the right because it was closer and I was sweating like melting ice cream and panting like a dog who just ran a marathon. Oh well, nothing like being blunt.

When I reached the bus, I peered around, decided now was better than never, and began pounding on the door with all of my lack-of-might.

"OSHEY, YOU BETTER COME OUT THIS INSTANT OR ELSE I'M GOING TO STUFF EGG MCMUFFINS DOWN YOUR BRA!"

When the door didn't open, I kept going.

"HURRY UP! I'M GETTING A SUNBURN! YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE ONE TO PUT ALOE ALL OVER MY SWEATY BACK, AND I WON'T TAKE A SHOWER JUST TO MAKE YOU SUFFER! GET OU-OW-OH!"

I hit something soft in the middle of my last threat. Either the door turned into stale jello or the door was open. I cracked my eyes open and gasped when I saw who was standing there. Either I was crazy, which is debatable, or Zack Merrick from All Time Low was standing in the range of my fists' fury. And he looked angrier than my raw muscle power.

"Who the fuck are you?" he growled.

Whoa, what a warm welcome. I quickly decided to strategize and play ignorant.

"Who are YOU?" I shot back while moving to lean on the open door, trying to keep my uncaring cool facade up.

"Oh, you don't know who I am? Then why the fuck are you banging on my door, screaming, at seven in the fucking morning, calling out to my girl?!"

Whoa. I did not see this one coming. What has she been doing?! Scanning the angry bassist in front of me, I applauded her. She was not doing ugly. But in any event, Oshey, you owe me big time.

"Uh, surprise?!" I squeaked.

"Wrong bus," he shouted while slamming the door in my face.

I sprinted to the other bus and as I got there, the door swung open and heavenly air conditioning streamed out. I stepped in and called out between heavy intakes of air:

"OSHEY, YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO!"


	13. Chapter 13

It was just 20 minutes after Alex had left that I heard yelling from down the way. We had parked on the McDonald's parking lot to sleep because the damn owners of the venue were pissy bitches. But that's besides the point.

I heard a girl yelling in the parking lot, screaming for someone to 'open up'. I was half asleep so I wasn't paying much attention. The noise died for a few minutes and then the yelling came from outside OUR bus.

"OSHEY YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO!"

My first reaction was, "What the fuck?" My second reaction was instantaneous after my first and I hopped out of bed and down the narrow corridor to the door. Upon opening it, I smacked the noisemaker in the face, causing her to turn away for a moment before turning back and bluntly stating "Um, ow." My face lit up at the sight of her.

"JESS!" I practically tackled my best friend and I squeezed her until she forced me to let go, due to lack of air.

"Holy shit." I said. "God, I missed you."

"I missed you too. You wanna tell me why you texted me to come out here at such an unholy hour?" Her face was sincere.

"Um, let's walk." I said.

We walked into the McDonald's and sat down at a table. Thank God they're a 24 hour restaurant. We didn't order anything, and you could feel the old women station is down behind the counter. Whatever.

I sat down on the cold plastic seat and began telling my story. I told her how I lied to my mom and how Zack and I had a thing and I thought I was falling in love with him until tonight when I had caught him with another girl and he had pretty much crushed my soul. I hadn't gotten the chance to talk to him yet and clarify things up because Alex had told me I should wait until we had both calmed down to talk. Jess was in shock. She knew me better than anyone. She knew that I never lied and that I was terrified of sex and how I was scared of the world and of people. She knew why I had been in an institution and what really made me scared. What she didn't know was that I so desperately wanted a life like they show in the movies. I wanted to go buck-wild and have fun before my life was over. She hasn't seen me change. Her face was indescribable. She waited a few minutes to collect herself before she responded to my story.

"Well..." Jess, for once, was lost for words.

"I don't know what to do Jess." I said. I was almost in tears.

"You've changed darling..."she said, finally. She looked at me and sighed. "Come with me." She said after a few seconds of silence.

I walked out the door, my hands in the big deep pocket of the sweatshirt Alex had managed to snag from his bus for me. It was a nice gesture, but it depressed me more than anything. He didn't know that it was Zack's. I followed Jess outside to the bus, but it wasn't the one I had come out of and hour earlier.

"Jess, what are you doing?" Mu heart raced as i called to her. she reached up and pulled the handle to the door of the bus and stepped inside.

"Zachary Merrick had better get his ass out here before I have to go in there and kick him out myself!" She yelled from the stairs inside of the bus.

"No, Jess, no..." I whispered to myself. There was a lot of yelling from inside the bus before a handsome sandy-blonde head poked out and a rippling shirtless body followed. He walked towards me, Jess behind him. He looked like he had been crying and he smelled of liquor. I looked at my feet. I wasn't sure what to say. Jess came around from his backside and stood between the two of us."I did not drive my ass more than 400 miles in the middle of the night for this problem not to be resolved right this very second. Talk to each other. Now." She said very scary-like.


	14. Chapter 14

**"Talk to each other- now." Jess yelled at us. I was kind if scared of her right now, but I was much more terrified of what Zack was going to say to me. If he said anything at all. **

I looked down at my feet, my wrinkled Tom's™ were half on the curb and half off. Tay's baggy sweatpants glowed in the fluorescent light of the McDonald's sign, and Zack's sweatshirt hung down to almost my knees. I was a complete disaster. Zack's shirtless torso was slouched over and his hands were stuck deep in the pockets of his grey Amerrickan sweats.

Neither of us looked at each other or said anything for a long time. Jess had angrily walked into ATL's tour bus and slammed the door behind her several minutes beforehand so we were completely alone in the McDonald's parking lot, at 2 in the morning.

I continued to look at my feet but I suddenly could feel him looking at me. Not just looking at me either, it felt as though his eyes were boring into my soul. His intensity made me look up. When I looked into his eyes, although we were silent, I could hear the apology. His eyes spoke to me of his guilt and anger. They were red and puffy and slightly glossy, as if he had been drinking as well. I knew then that whatever I had seen had been an accident, and internally, I knew that I forgave him, but I still needed an explanation.

"Why?" I breathed into the crisp night air, still looking into his eyes. It took a long time for a response. He looked away, finally, and sat on the curb.

"It was an accident." He began.

"Which part?" I asked " Me seeing it, or the act its self?"

"I didn't want to kiss her." He replied, desperately.

"But you did Zack. And now I'm asking why." I was already almost to the point of tears. I just wanted him to tell me. I had been through enough that night, and he wouldn't even tell me why I had been put through it at all. "Why Zack?" I repeated.

"I know Sandy from a long time ago- ex girlfriend. She wanted to catch up; talk to me in private. I waited until the crowd died down a little bit to talk to her, I wanted to talk to as many people as possible before I got caught up in personal business..." He paused, and sighed, then shook his head and put his head between his hands. "We were just talking until she got really creepy and then pushed me down into the closet and closed the door. I didn't want to be rude and leave abruptly but I really didn't want to be there. She kept trying to get me to talk but I was so uncomfortable... Then she said something about how I was upsetting her and that she had just run out on her boyfriend that was abusive and how her life has been a living hell and I started to feel so bad for her. I felt bad for being a dick too, so when she broke down on me I had to try to make her feel better, I couldn't just let her feel like shit, even if I was uncomfortable...then she stopped her fake crying and fucking held me down and kissed me." He got really quiet and kept staring straight down at the ground. "I wouldn't have even said a word to her if I had known she was being such a manipulative bitch." He said as he glanced up at me with tears in his eyes, voice wavering. "You have to believe me Oshey, I would never do anything to hurt you."

I took a minute or two to process everything he had just told me.

"I believe you." I finally concluded.

"I believe every word of what you just told me. I just have one last question." I paused. "If you really care about me so much, why didn't you come after me Zack? Why did you just stand there with your mouth open? Why?" I had finally hit the last straw. I was crying, yet again.

"You ran off and I was scared! Sandy was trying to hold me back and before I could even get outside you were gone from sight."

"That's not an excuse, Zack! I would have chased after you for miles if you ran out on me like that, and you could barely make it out the door."

"What the hell are you talking about!? I thrashed every bus and every room and trailer looking for you, I called every motel nearby, every restaurant, everywhere. Nobody had seen you! I ran at least 15 miles tonight, in both directions on the highway, looking for you. It was obvious you didn't want to be found though, not by me, anyways. After 3 and a half hours of looking for you, Alex comes back saying that you were safe and sound in his girlfriends bus, that you weren't ever going to speak to me again, and then he grabbed some shit and then left for another 2 hours. I looked for you. I came after you. Don't try and say that I didn't."

I felt like I had been slapped in the face. I stood there a moment, not sure of what to say. He looked for me. He cared. And I had called Alex instead..

"I didn't know." I responded, quietly, my voice breaking.

"Its okay, I didn't expect you to know." He said calmly as he stood up and faced me.

"I called-"

"I know you called Alex. It's okay." He said.

"Okay.." I said

"Okay.." He said, and he wrapped me in a warm hug; I felt like everything was going to be alright.


	15. Chapter 15

I woke up with my arm around her waist. In the sunlight that streamed through the bus windows, her light brown hair shone; it almost looked red. She looked peaceful and happy. Beautiful. She shivered a bit, and I snuggled closer to her and wrapped the blanket around both of us. Everyone had most likely gone out to breakfast, which meant we had moved across the state that night. I listened to the steady sound of her breathing. I had never felt as happy as I did in this moment. I knew that she was all mine and I was all hers and that's all that mattered.

She stirred and turned over to face me. I swept the hair out of her face and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Good morning, beautiful." I said with a smile.

"Hi," she replied sweetly, snuggling up against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her bare back and held her there for several minutes. She looked up at me, smiled, and said "Food?"

I chuckled and replied "Food," before I kissed her cheek and slid out of the bunk and threw my boxers on to head to the front of the bus to make us some breakfast. I finally thought that everything was going perfectly.

Sorry this is so late, theres been a lot going on lately. I know it's short but it has significance. The next chapter will be better. Enjoy!


	16. Chapter 16

Oh good god, it's getting steamy out there.

All right, to be honest, they're just hugging, but I know what hugging leads to…

Whatever, I'm glad they're back together. They're adorable, and I'm saying this in a completely honest and jealous way. They are so damn cute.

I get the feeling we're going to be with these guys for a while. Good thing I brought my All Time Low booty shorts along for the –

"Whoa, crazy fan girl. I'm impressed. How'd you get on the bus?" I hear in a smooth voice coming from behind me. I whip around and stick my fists up, just in case. In case of what, I'm not sure because I'm the trespassing perpetrator here, but you can never be too careful.

"Be careful, I'm a mauve belt…" I say to a familiar "BONER" shirt. Looking up, I see no other that Jack Barakat from All Time Low.

"Mauve, huh?" he chuckles. In retrospect, I don't know how I messed that one up, but I did.

"Your nose is bigger in person," I think out loud. Real smooth, Jess, real smooth.

"I was right when I said 'crazy'," Jack retorted.

"Ouch man, I'm not a fan girl, I'm the calvary Oshey called in. If you look outside, you'll notice that my services were extremely effective. On a side note, I charge by the quarter hour."

Jack glances out the window behind me, giving me a fabulous view up his nose as he leans over me. Fortunately, he's exactly what I expected, though this whole meeting I could never daydream up. Seeing the reunited couple, he sighs. "Oh thank God they're back, I don't think I could stand any more teen angst in this bus."

"Lucky for you, I have extra stored up," I shoot, trying but failing to be funny.

"And lucky for me, I didn't get to witness any of your mauve-belt bad ass-ness," he replies seamlessly. I need to take a few notes from this guy on social interaction.

Not knowing how to reply, I spit out a string of words that hardly make sense to the effect of going to talk to Oshey about what's next, but when I look out the window, I see Zack leading her by the hand into the bus. Crap, I can't bother her there.

"Come on, lost puppy," Jack sighs. "I'm hungry. Let's go get something to eat."


	17. Chapter 17

_She's trouble in a tank-top_

_pretty little time bomb _

_blowin up; take you down _

_sex in stereo _

_don't turn the radio down_

The crowd in California was the biggest I had ever seen. They sang along and cheered and screamed. I even heard some girls screaming for Zack, which was good, even if it did make me a little bit jealous, I was happy that they liked him as much as they liked the other members of the band. Plus, I totally understood where they were coming from. As Zack danced around on stage in a gleaming sweat, his muscles rippled and shone. Sometimes he'd flash a huge grin in my direction, usually at the end of a song or when he had done something really cool, like a crazy jump or a funny move. I stood in the crowd this time, wanting to enjoy the sound in one of the more popular Cali venues. They boys did great. It had only been the night before that Zack and I made up, but we were dealing with it fine. I trusted him to make good decisions. Plus I knew Jess would have his head on a plate before I could say 'poodles' if he ever did anything again.

When I had woken up that morning, Jack and Jess were the only two not on time for van call, and all day they had practically been inseparable. I wasn't jumping to conclusions or anything, but I had my assumptions. Even though Jess was obsessed with Alex for years, something told me Jack might actually be the guy for her. They both carried a sense of humor with them, and although they were quite different, their personalities complimented each others quite well. Or, so far as I could tell in the last 18 hours or so...

Speaking of Jess, where the fuck is she? Before the show started, the boys had appointed us to take over the shifts for merch girls after the show ended 'so we could watch the show and tell them how amazing they were.' Jacks words, not mine.

However, as usual, Jess took the early shift and helped out the regular merch guys. Why was it my best friend was such a caring person and I turned out crappy?

As I turned to go into the merch area a girl grabbed my shirt sleeve and, in the nastiest voice I had ever heard, said "Excuse me, the line's back there, bitch. Wait your turn."

What. The. Fuck. She did not just say what I think she said. I was known for being a nice person, but when you get on my bad side, I get bad. My face turned red- I fumed as I grabbed her hand and threw it off me, returning her snarky remark with one of my own, "I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but I know that a little hoe like you should not be talking to me like that, because if you were, I'd probably fuck you up. Now take your hands off me and get the hell out of here because we -" i paused and pointed to all the guys behind the merch counter "-have the right to refuse service to anyone." Right as I said the last word, Zack came up behind me and snaked his arm around my waist and kissed my forehead.

She looked like I had just slapped her senseless. Her eyes grew wider and he then slowly turned around and weaved through the crowds of people and out the door.

I watched her leave before I turned around and kissed Zack lightly on the cheek. "Hey baby!" I said sweetly and then I turned back around and started helping to sell T-shirts and bracelets for All Time Low.

I could tell Zack was a little confused and slightly upset at the way I had acted towards that girl, but after being called a bitch and a whore and being told my whole life that I was too meek and not good enough, I had to stand up for myself. I couldn't let someone else be the cause of my scars. Not anymore.


	18. Chapter 18

"I can't do this all by myself!" I yelled to Oshey while trying to set up the band's merchandise table. When I looked up at her to chastise her for leaving the perfectly incompetent me to do all the dirty work (get the reference? punny), I noticed something odd. She was standing at the railing looking down to the stage, totally zoned out. I followed her eyeline and was surprised at where it landed.

She was staring at Alex… not Zack.

I sense trouble a brewing.


	19. Chapter 19

It had been a few nights since I blew up at that fan. Zack was kinda pissed at me for being such a bitch to a fan, but he didn't know or understand what was going on. I hadn't let him see. Twitter was fuming at me, which, on the surface, I made no note of, but inside I was screaming. Some nights, when Zack had a band party, I would lay in the bus and cry myself to sleep. I knew I had fucked up, royally, but I could not fix it the way he wanted me to. Not without telling him. Not without showing him.

One night, I was really bad off and I locked myself in the bathroom for three hours while the boys and Jess were out. That's the night the real trouble began.

"Oshey?" I heard a familiarly warm voice through the bathroom door that made me tingle. I half smiled and sighed, opening the door to the sweet boy on the other side.

"Hey Alex," I said, trying to fake a huge grin.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" His smile faded. So did mine. My eyes brimmed with tears, yet again. I spilled everything.

"...and I just fucked everything up and I can't fix it. The only way to tell him is to show him, and I can't do that." I finished.

"Show him what?" Was Alex's only question.

"My scars." I replied in a quiet whisper, looking away from him hoping he wouldn't hear.

"...Show him. He loves you. Nothing is going to change." He held my hands as he told me this. I ha never felt so assured. Alex had a power over me that I had never experienced. As I looked up at him through my choppy brown bangs, I saw an angel. Every element of him shone and his eyes glowed with strength and trust. I wanted to kiss him. I really wanted to. This was the second time he had come to my rescue. I leaned in. As I did that though. Alex let go of my hands and turned away.

"No. This isn't right." He said.

"I-I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." I flashed back to reality. What the fuck was I saying 'I wanted to kiss Alex'? I loved Zack and only Zack.

Only Zack, right?

Oh shit, what was my poor teenage life coming to?

I shook the thoughts from my head and looked back at Alex, who was facing the wall, chewing on his nails.

"Thank you Alex." I finally said, and I kissed his check and walked out of the bus, into the warm California air, only to bump into Jack, and simultaneously, Jess. I smiled big and greeted each of them.

"Where are you off to m'lady?" Asked Jess in her fabulous faux British accent.

"I'm actually going to find Zack, you know where I can find him?" I replied.

"Over yonder, that-a-way." Jess pointed over her left shoulder.

"Awesome, thanks!" I hugged her quickly and sprinted off to find my love. Alex was right. I had to show Zack. I had to tell him everything. It wouldn't change anything, Zack loved me, just as much as I loved him.

Everything was going to be great.

Right?


	20. Chapter 20

Before he could say anything, I connected our lips and pulled him in close. My insides burned as he kissed me back, more passionately than ever. I tightened my body against his and wrapped my arms around his neck. In the parking lot of the IHOP, Zack and I were melting together, and we didn't give a duck who saw.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered, struggling to breathe.

"For what?" He whispered back.

"I need to show you something, but it can't be here." I said after a moments silence.

Zack looked confused, but agreed to go back to the bus with me. When we entered, we found a note that said 'We went out. Don't expect us back soon. Video games with WATIC ftw.' It was signed in Jack's name. At least we wouldn't have to worry about anyone interrupting.

I sat down in the front lounge area, still in my sweats and t-shirt from the night before. Zack looked at me with pleading eyes and sat across from me.

"You're not going to like what I'm going to show you. You're going to be shocked when I've finished explaining. Please promise me that you won't freak out. This doesn't change who I am." I said calmly, looking him straight in the eyes. He nodded and I stood up and pulled off my sweatpants to reveal a multitude of dark scars on my hips and thighs.

"When my mother saw these, she thought I was crazy. She didn't understand why I did this to myself, and still doesn't. She put me in a mental ward for 8 months when I turned 16. I was suicidal and addicted to pain." I paused and took off my t-shirt as well. Underneath the hem of the shirt, and extending all the way up my sides were more dark scars. Big and small. I was so ashamed of my body in that moment, but I couldn't stop here. I had to help him understand. I had to show him. His face was struck with sadness and pity. Tears welled up in my eyes and I continued, " Fat. They called me fat, I called myself fat. I tried cutting the fat out if my body. All that came out was blood. I hated who I was, what I had become. I couldn't make anybody proud, I felt unloved and unwanted and fat. I had nobody, and nobody needed me. Years I was stuck like this. Trapped inside my own mind. Cutting the misery out of my body until one day-" my voice cracked, "-I just couldn't take it a-anymore." I was crying now, as I told the story of how I had tried to kill myself the year before. How I had downed an entire bottle of pills and slit my wrists in the bathtub, hoping nobody would care. His eyes were brimmed with tears now and as I told the last of my story, and explained why I had retaliated when the fan called me a bitch, I collapsed onto my knees in a fit of sobs, covering my face, hoping he couldn't tell how badly I was really crying. He rushed over to me and held me in his arms. I cried into his chest and he held me and told me that everything was alright. We stayed that way for a long time.

Once I had finally settled down, I looked up at Zack's dark green eyes, which were now red and puffy, and I told him something I had never told anyone before.

"Zack, I love you so much."

"I love you too." He said, and he leaned down to kiss me.

We laid on the ground of the bus for a few minutes before Zack broke the silence.

"Why didn't I notice them before?"

"Hm?" I replied, sleepily.

"I have seen you completely undone and not once did I notice a single flaw on that perfect skin."

"I really don't know. I was surprised you didn't say something about them the first night, actually." I replied.

After a few minutes where only quiet breathing filled the air, Zack said, "I think it's because I know you're more than your scars. You're human and you are beautiful. No scar can make you any different than what you are to me right now. You're perfect."

I felt as if an entire world had been lifted off my shoulders.

Just as i was about to respond, someone walked into the bus. I quickly sat up and grabbed the clothes I had scattered on the floor, but it was too late- Alex had already seen everything.

"Oh shit.. Um.. Sorry guys. I'll come back later." He looked about as pink as his hair. Before either Zack or I could respond, Alex bolted out of the bus, slamming the door behind him. I suddenly felt really bad.

"Okay then." Zack said, and we finished picking up and putting my clothes on before we walked out of the door together, hand in hand. Time to find Alex...


	21. Chapter 21

Zack went off in one direction; I went in the other. We were both searching for Alex, but I already knew where he was. I creeped onto Tay and the boys' bus and headed straight for the back. Sure enough, with a pen and paper in hand and a guitar on his lap, Alex sat on the cushioned area we called a couch.

"What's going on? Why did you freak out? You knew what I was doing. That I was with him. What's going on? Spill." I leaned against the doorframe and awaited his answer.

He sighed and looked up at me with his big brown puppy dog eyes. "Here's the thing," he said, and then sighed again, "I wrote it out..." He sounded nervous.

He reached for the neck of his guitar and started slow.

iOshey run away with me I know it sounds crazy don't you see what you do to me? I wanna be a lost boy, your last chance, a better reality, yeah...come on we can get away, I promise if you're with say the word and well find a way, and I can be your lost boy, your last chance, you're everything that I planned, oh somewhere in Neverland. /i

He stopped playing and we both sat a minute in silence. I was baffled. What the hell was going on?

"I was gonna use Wendy, but Oshey rhymes and.. Yeah..." He started rambling, but the words that stuck out the most were the ones he said when he looked up at me. "Do you understand now? I love you. Like, the way Zack loves you, except... More..." He looked sad. Hurt, even.

It took me a minute to gather my thoughts. What? I didn't know where to begin.

"I understand. But Alex I'm sorry, I can't." His gesture was sweet. I loved Alex so much. He was a brother to me. Someone I could always rely on. I had a small crush on him at one point. That was all. I didn't know he felt this way otherwise I would never have led him to believe I had any feelings for him. I mean, I knew he had a crush on me... But that was weeks ago! I was so confused and upset. I had led him on and now he confesses that he's in love with me. I felt so awful. I felt cruel and mean and downright dirty. So I ran. Again.

By the time I found Jess, I was out of breath. Thankfully, she was a tad busy, which gave me time to catch my breath and come up with a way to explain to her why I had to leave. She had talked about going back for days, but knew that I needed more time with Zack, so we stayed all on my account. (That's my selfless best friend for ya. How did I turn out so selfish with a best friend like her? I don't even begin to understand.) However, watching her and Jack now, I wasn't so sure that she would want to go anywhere... Oh boy.


End file.
